Category: Baby Cooke

I now understand.

Before becoming a mum I recall reading stories in the papers or hearing on the news how a parent had shook their child so much that they had caused great harm or even worse, death.

How? How could they do such a thing? How could they bring themselves to that level?

I now understand.

I’ll be completely honest here, there have been moments during the first 2-3 months of my darling sons life that I scared myself. When you’ve had very little sleep, you’ve changed and fed them and still they cry. Those are the moments when you can feel it, those are the moments when it can cross your mind. I’ve thought a few times ‘just chuck him off the balcony’ ‘throw him across the room’. I bet you’re thinking how dare she say such things, but I’m not the only new mum out there to think them. The difference is I know that I won’t action them, the only time I scared myself was when I held Robin firmly in front of me and in a stern voice said “shut up”. I know that doesn’t sound bad but when it’s not in your nature to act that way, it’s scary. The moment when that happened I finally understood how people can crack and end up shaking their child. I never understood how easy it could be even for the nicest of people.

After speaking to friends and them admitting it had crossed their minds too, I didn’t feel as bad. Not that those thoughts are a good thing, don’t get me wrong, but it felt better knowing that I wasn’t alone.

Some good bits of advice given to me, if your child is pushing every single button and the anger grows:

“If your partner is at home, no matter what time of day or night it is, pass your child onto them. If you’re home on your own firstly put them down in a safe place and walk out of that room. Lock yourself in the toilet or something if you need to, then count slowly to 10. You may feel bad that your child is screaming at the top of their lungs but surely that’s better than you ending up doing something you’ll regret.”


When You Finally Realise You’re Going To Be A Mum

I’ll be 32 weeks pregnant tomorrow, and only now am I regretting not writing a blog about those previous weeks. My dear husband however was far smarter than I and started writing a physical diary back in September. I’ve not actually read any of it yet (I know right!), I have no idea why. Maybe I’ve been avoiding it for some reason, for an evening where I want to sit in my nursing chair and have a good cry, who knows!

This last week I think it’s finally hit me, in about 2 months I will be a mum. That’s nuts! I know what you’re thinking, how on earth can it take you that long to realise?  Well, it has img_4503so that’s that. Holding my cousins little one last night really made it dawn on me for some reason. Strangely enough the actual giving birth bit doesn’t bother me (yet), but the realisation of becoming a parent has. You ask yourself questions like ‘Can I actually do this?’ ‘What if I’m doing it wrong?’ ‘How does one actually change a nappy?’. But I’m sure every mum-to-be has those thoughts and sometimes you do forget how much of a life changing thing it is that you’re about to go through.

I think what I’m struggling with is the only being able to prepare/organise so much part. Yes the nursery is already sorted, yes we probably have more than enough clothes for him, but now there isn’t much more we can actually do. For someone who likes to plan as much as possible in advance, this is the first time I’ve felt a little lost about what to do next. And the answer to that really is to just be patient and wait until he’s ready to arrive. My due date is the 4th April, most of my family are convinced it’ll be March, we shall see. I’m not really sure how true the whole ‘but your first is usually late’ thing is. After my cousins partner gave birth to her son at 28 weeks, anything can happen really!

Another thing I don’t think I can prepare for is the love I’ll have for him, well that’s what people have said to me anyway. If anything that’s exciting! Obviously being in love with your husband is amazing, but I get a feeling this will be a whole different kind of love. I still very much look forward to the days when he’s a little older and we can go explore places. I was quite fortunate in a way when I was younger, spending most of my weekends at farmers markets or in a field in the middle of nowhere. My parents would be sorting out the trade stall and I would go on mini adventures on my own, exploring the trees, meeting other children and making up fun games to play. That’s what I hope for our child, a feeling of freedom and exploration. Asking all of the questions and wanting to know more about what’s around him and the world, and the universe whilst he’s at it!

I feel like I’m babbling on about a lot of random thoughts now… maybe it’s the terrible night sleep I had, maybe I’m just beginning to think about it all a little more. But I do know that I very much look forward to meeting you little one.

Cot Quilt Success!

I’m pretty proud of myself right now, I’ve just finished my first ever quilt! Now I’ll admit I did have my wonderful nan oversea the event, however I must mention that she did not do anything, purely observed. So I completed this from cutting the squares to hand sewing the back of the edging.

I purchased the stunning fabric from eBay and used a fleece blanket from IKEA for the backing. Oh and to pad it out a little more, nan gave me some other fleece like material to put in between. The cutting and pattern arrangement took me about 2 hours, sewing everything together about 7 hours and the hand sewing on the back about 1 hour.



Mustard & Mint – Teething Necklace

I’m currently in a temporary position as a receptionist at a local secondary school. Today I was given the most wonderful thank you present from the ladies that I work with.

I’d never thought about teething necklaces before but oh my what a lovely idea! Great that you can still be fashionable but not have to worry about them getting broken or covered in slobber. This necklace I was given was from Mustard & Mint, I recommend checking out their Etsy page as there is a lovely range of necklaces and bracelets available.


I hope to give it a proper review when I get to put it into practice.

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